Before you ask if he is truly a counselor or say he doesn’t know what he is talking about, please take your time to read to the end. If truly “until death do us apart” kind of marriage exist, there won’t be divorce. There won’t be divorcees rather widows and widowers. “Until death do us part” is just a promise, a vow couples take but what keeps their marriage is their actions on a daily basis.
If you think a powerful man of God prayed on your marriage, decreed heaven and protection over your marriage so that is enough to keep you and your partner together until death separates, you then you are dreaming, please wake up to reality.
Every day in marriage comes with a test and work to prove your love and commitment to each other. The very day you stop doing those things, is the very day you start growing apart. It is the very day you start losing the relationship. My husband, my wife are not titles that keep the marriage. Marriage does not change people, before make the conscious effort. You have to be intentional about your marriage, the kind of marriage you want to have; a happy one or a sad one.
You have to identify the things you have to do on a daily basis to achieve the kind of marriage you want. You cannot achieve trust in your relationship if you are not open to your partner on a daily basis about your rounds, friends, decisions, plans, etc. What we see in today’s marriages are quite the opposite. Spouses are secretive, have best friends outside their marriages, take decisions and embark on trips which their spouses have no idea of.
You cannot have the best of communication in your marriage if you won’t make time to talk about everything, you won’t listen to understand your spouse on a daily basis but rather draw conclusions on them, refuse to give them an audience, always wanting to be right, etc. How do expect such marriage to exist until death do you apart?
You cannot achieve romance in your relationship if you won’t spend uninterrupted time together as a couple on a daily basis, if you won’t compliment your partner on the little or small gesture, if you won’t appreciate the smallest things and say thank you, if you won’t do a little kind gesture for your partner each day, if you won’t take a minute out of your busy schedules to check on your partner daily. If you won’t hold, cuddle or kiss them when leaving home or coming home.
Unfortunately, we ignore our partners daily and question ourselves, why sex boring and why she is showing a lack of interest? People value their marriage and spend lots of money on celebrating the marriage. Some people go to the extent of borrowing money to fund their marriage ceremonies but have little value for their spouses.
Some spouse even go out of their way to do lots for their partner with the intention that, their partner will do same for them. But sadly, their partners reject them because they don’t want to return the favour in the future. They only cry foul or get mad when they see their partner in the arms of another man or woman.
It’s easy to call them a cheat, unfaithful, insult them, disgrace them but what you don’t know is that rejection hurts. Rejection can cause a wife or husband to seek comfort in the arm of another woman or man. Be careful of the treatment you give to your spouse for marriage these days is not until death do us apart. It is until hurt do us apart.
In conclusion, “Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other” – Romans 12:10 (NLT).
Author: Counselor Frank Adofoli
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