Do you feel you are late when it comes to marriage and that you should have gotten married and even had children a long time ago, but unfortunately you are not? And what disturbs you the most is that many of the younger ones around you are married? People in your house, family, workplace are all anxious of when you are getting married.
For that reason, you are desperately looking for marriage from whichever direction. Please relax, it’s not just a marriage you are looking for but a good marriage that will last a lifetime.
You are not just looking for the title of a married man or woman, you are looking for a relationship that is safe. You are not just looking for a man or woman to have sex with, but you are looking for someone who loves you and sees you more than an object for sexual satisfaction. You are not just looking for a man or woman to share a room or space with, you are looking for a partner to go through life with.
I understand some professions demand so much time and it will be of a great help to get married early, have your children and then dedicate most of the rest of your time to your profession. I understand some of you are blessed to have your biological parents or mothers around so you wish to get married early, so your parents can help you with the children.
No matter what your reasons are, getting married to the right person is of the utmost importance and nothing should be compared to that. The thing with we humans is, when we have the sense or feeling of being late, that is when we make lots of mistakes. Where we are going becomes more important than the preparation to get us there.
I remember late last year; I got a new tablet from a shop in town for a presentation the following week. At the time of the purchase, the device worked fine. A few days later, I tried to upload my presentation onto the tablet but to my dismay the device wouldn’t power. I tried charging it for hours but to no avail. I was alarmed, I tried contacting the shop via phone without getting any response, I decided to go to the shop the next day.
I had other meetings in town, I was in a hurry, I got to the shop, I was asked of the official receipt issued me, and I was shocked I had left the receipt at home. I looked so stupid, I asked myself “how can I leave the receipt at home, what business do I have here without my receipt”. I only got to know I forget the most important document which proved I got the device from the shop at home when I got to the shop.
Many of you reading this can relate to a number of times you’ve had such an experience. Either you are in a hurry to catch a flight or a bus, in a hurry to get to the office or church and you end up leaving your ticket, passport, a document or something important you needed to take along.
Same way we make such mistakes when we are in hurry to get married.
You forget to do proper background check, you forget to ask the important questions, you forget to cross check the words said by the actions of the one you are in hurry to get married to.
The focus is always on the marriage, pretending everything is or will be fine when you get married. Many of the trouble married people face today were red flags they ignored when they were dating.
You don’t need to rush a relationship that is supposed to last a lifetime, life is not a race. Each day we are given is a blessing, what you need to do is to enjoy what you are blessed with and make the best out of it instead of focusing on what you don’t have.
Take time to get to know people well before you agree to get married to them. Make sure you have built a relationship you can count on to take you through the marital journey, than the feeling you have for your partner.
Seek counseling or clarification if you are confused about your findings. If the character of the man or woman you are trying to get married to is not clear to you, it’s a perfect time to look at their friends. Your feelings for your partner can blind you but you have no feelings for their friends so you won’t get blinded.
In conclusion, “He controls the times and the seasons; he makes and unmakes kings; it is he who gives wisdom and understanding” – Daniel 2:21 (GNT).
Author: Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli
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